Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A Choir of Ill Children by Tom Piccirilli

Guest review by Red Bonney

It's a dark, wet, rancid book. It's about the dangers of certain people reproducing when they clearly should have been yanked out of the gene pool by the life guard. It's a good book. Reading it was like being sucked down into a gator infested swamp: you get that sinking feeling, but you know you'll be eaten before you drown, and all around you is the earthy smell of the bog. There was a story line, I'm sure of it. I think it was hidden between the random bouts of underage, extra-marital sex, that may or may not have been the hallucinatory dreams of our reluctant hero, Thomas. There was lots of writing on walls and on skin and some of it made sense. Most of it did not.

Thomas has three brothers in one. Sebastian, Jonah and Cole are conjoined triplets, joined at the cranium. They also have a sister, but she was nearly completely absorbed by Thomas when they were still in the womb. This goes back to the theory that some people shouldn't reproduce, namely, the entire list of characters in the book. It was difficult to find a normal character, and I would have to say it was Thomas, though he turned out to be a sex fiend with a penchant for younger partners. The Reverend Bibbler would be next, but his name alone strikes him off the
normal list.

So, Thomas was the reluctant hero, as I said, and very reluctant. He was the town's magnate, so to speak, the wealthiest man in town, who owns the mill that makes the town live. He lives in the most haunted house with his brothers and their care giver, Dodi, who is also their lover and was installed by the local conjure woman, Velma Coots, to keep an eye on them. Velma, I believe, should have gotten more page time. That's another moral hidden in these pages, always listen to the local conjure woman, she knows what she's talking about.

In a nutshell, this book was a lot like real life in that there were a lot of unexplained and unexplainable events, a lot of questions and not enough answers. Conversely, it was nothing at all like real life, with the ghosts and all-consuming evil threatening on the horizon. I can't tell you what the book was really about, it's a mystery and a horror and a romance (a sick, twisted, fucked up romance, but a romance nonetheless) and nothing was explicit.

I hope you are as confused as I am about this book now. You should read it and tell me what it was about.

Friday, July 14, 2006

The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger

It has been awhile since I’ve written one of these up for general consumption. Not that I haven’t been reading, just some of my reading materials are a little subjective. But no time like the present to get back onto that horse, so to speak. Hopefully this won’t suck too badly. And let’s forget about the movie, shall we? I haven’t seen it yet and I figure I might go next week. Not that I have high expectations but figure this might go easier if we just focus on the book.

Did you ever have one of those never pleased type of bosses? The type who wasn’t happy unless they were causing some type of misery onto someone else? Who was so miserable and vile that they would engineer ways to belittle and humiliate just to make their self feel better? Personally, I haven’t. I had really annoying bosses who wanted to be your friend but you knew you couldn’t trust them as far as you could throw them. Or the type that would freak out about little things but would have no clue about the things that really matter. So I figure I’ve been pretty lucky after this book.

Lauren, straight out of college, is looking for a job. She is a writer and wants to work for a magazine, any magazine that will help her on her way to The New Yorker. Not that she is super ambitious, she just wants to be able to move out of her parent’s house and start her own life. In walks the job opportunity of a lifetime, work for one year as the personal assistant to the editor for the fashion magazine and you can walk your way into any magazine you want to go. The problem, your boss is a real bitch. In every way, shape, and form.

The most interesting part of the book was reading about how evil this woman could be. She would request things but not give enough information to allow you to be able to know what she wanted and when you couldn’t give her what she wanted, she would call you stupid for not being able to read her mind. You were on call 24 hours a day and if anything was needed, you were called, no matter what it was. There was hell to pay if things were not perfect. You may be allowed to see the glamorous side of life but that is from the perspective of following behind after it to clean up. And it makes you wonder how far you can be pushed, what you would be willing to give up for a year, if the price was right.

All that being said, it was an entertaining read for something light and fluffy. Fun reading about how evil someone can be and lucky enough to do so from such a safe distance.

Bah, it was an okay book. Not a great American classic to make it through the ages but fun.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Undead and Unappreciated by Mary Janice Davidson

Back again with a quick read and hopefully a quick review. This one was read in a day so I don’t think this one should take all that long in writing.

Betsy is back and this time, nothing all that much happens. Yeah, I know. I really shouldn’t be all that surprised considering the location you would find this book. This is not all that difficult of a read but it is funny on occasions. In this book, Betsy is not having the most fun in the world, her nightclub is in the red and her employees don’t like the change in management. Not to mention, it gets slipped that she has a long lost sister that she never knew about and it turns out little sis is the spawn of Satan and destined to rule the world.

The only uncomfortable part in this book is the fact that this is another book with a main character’s name as Elizabeth. I’m finding it a little weird, especially when whispered by her dark and handsome consort, Eric Sinclair. The other weird part is that I realized that her name is Elizabeth and her best friend since Junior High’s name is Jessica. This made me think of the Sweet Valley High twins and how this couldn’t be a coincidence. Perhaps it really is but it seemed very weird. I think I’ll have to send a friendly little email to the author and see if I get an answer back. I’ll keep you informed if something comes of it.

I really shouldn’t judge this book on the fact that it isn’t all that deep and difficult or complex. It does have its funny moments and that is all I bought it for. Sometimes you just need a brain break.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

My podcast has decided to do a little book club and now I’m into reading another book every four weeks. The good part of this one is that I get a bigger say into what is read and I might actually like the books chosen. Although, I had my doubts when we first chose this one.

I’m pretty sure everyone knows this story. Young lawyer goes to Castle Dracula on business and it turns out his client is a member of the evil undead. This walking fiend has plans on relocation to London and wreck havoc on its citizens. Wackiness ensues.

I had started this book before, ages ago and didn’t finish it. The first time I tried reading this book, I gave up after about the third chapter. Really boring. This time I stuck with it and realized it got really good once we get some good supernatural action. During the first go, I likely wasn’t responding too well to the diary like way the story was told. This time, I’ve been so desensitized by the world of blogs that it didn’t bother me that much.

The most interesting thing I got out of this reading was the fact that they have changed Mina’s character in every movie I’ve seen her in. In a lot of the movies, she is portrayed as someone who is in love with Dracula. In the book, she is an example of the modern woman, smart, articulate, and not afraid to work to carry out what needs to be done. That part was quite refreshing to read. She was definitely the brains and the strength behind the group of merry men banding together to kill the little nuisance.

Anyway, it was good to read and if you are low in money, a copy of it can be downloaded from Project Guttenberg.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Boy Next Door by Meggin Cabot

This just may be the fastest, sparsest, review ever written.

It sucked.

Stupid book club. The end.

Okay, perhaps I should write more... nope, can’t do it. I fear that it might encourage you to read this book, even if I pan it. We can’t have that.

My rating: :-(

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Claire's Head by Catherine Bush

I’m back into the “borrowed from co-workers” books. I promised myself that I wouldn’t do that but then, I also promised myself that I wouldn’t buy anymore until I read more from those that live on the “To be read” shelf…. The fluidity of promises around here is quite drenching. We will have to work on that.

But there is a story behind Claire’s Head and not just the one between the front and back cover. You see, this book was listed on a book club website. They pair up authors that are willing to come to book club meetings and book clubs that are willing to read the author’s book. (We could have used that when reading A Complicated Kindness.) We never choose Catherine’s book but then, I think some of us were afraid that we wouldn’t like it and then have to pretend to say nice things to the author’s face. It is so much easier to pan the author’s choices when they are not in the room.

I don’t think it would have been difficult coming up with nice things to say about this book. Not to mention, getting into our migraine stories would be a barrel of fun as well. You see, the main character, Claire, suffers from migraines. She has since she was a child and shares this affliction with one of her sisters, Rachel. When her sister goes missing, Claire travels the world, following a string of clues, to hopefully uncover what happened to her.

The majority of the story takes place in Toronto and Claire, who works as a mapmaker for the city, throws in a lot of the street names that even only infrequent visitors to the city would recognize. This allows for an interesting contrast as Claire describes how, under the strain of a migraine, the different parts of her body are affected. The mystery as to what happened to Rachel propels this story along and makes you wonder, under the most desperate of situations, what would you give up to make the pain go away?

Anyone who has ever suffered from a migraine can sympathize with what Claire and Rachel live with. Believe you me, I've made some strong promises to make it all go away. Or if you are lucky enough to have never experienced such pain, it should be quite the educational experience. Believe me, they can be quite strange and everyone’s is very different.

My rating: :-) :-) :-)

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Wanderlust by Chris Dryer

Hopefully, this will be the quickest review ever written… here goes… I’m going to keep track of the time. (Start time 1:44am)

Wanderlust is a book about a travel writer who has a love for travel and is lucky enough to be able to make a living at it. Luckily, she is able to have friends and family at home to keep her grounded back into reality. You see, she, the protagonist, Kate Bogart, doesn’t like to be tied down and can rarely stay in the same hotel room for more than two nights in a row. Although that is quite useful as it allows her to review a number of different hotels for her job… but then, we are getting into reality that rarely fits into her world. You see, (and I’ll try to say this with as little jealousy as possible,) she has men falling in love with her no matter where she turns. First is a fellow travel journalist that she meets at the first of the book. This right after her affair with the Spanish bull fighter at the opening of the story. Not to mention her ex-husband that still has a torch burning for her and perhaps their marriage isn’t over after all. Of course they are all gorgeous. Nope, I’m not bitter…

The real problem I had with this book is that is written all in emails; emails back and forth between her friends, mother, boss, men, etc. Nothing is written or explained or detailed like you would get from a book written by a real literary author. It is just emails. I deal with emails all day. I hate them. And it took me forever to get through this book. Mostly because every time I picked it up to read before going to bed, it would put me to sleep. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like chick-lit as much as the next person. This one, was just too much. Perhaps it just could have used more work to make it a tighter story with sharper wit.

Oh well, that’s life. There is always next time. (Stop time: 1:56…. Wow, twelve minutes, that has to be a personal best.)

My rating: :-P

If I Knew, Don't You Think I'd Tell You by Jann Arden

This one will also be a quickie although this book deserves a lot more attention than just a review by little ole’ me. But I’m sure it is okay with the press it has gotten in the past. Not that I dare presume to know what a book thinks or doesn’t think. Basically I’m tired and it has been a long day. I’d also like to start another book... so many on the go...

But we must get to the reason we are here, to discuss the selected journal entries of Jann Arden. I want to state right now that I liked this book and somewhat tempted to pick up her second as well. In this one, we get her musing on her life and the world as Jann sees it. Basically, daily thoughts, some funny, some poignant, some just everyday stuff you could read in anyone’s blog. But she definitely has a style about her writing that is full of emotion, especially when she writes about those she has loved and lost, like her grandmother or an aunt, or very personal accounts of her childhood growing up in Alberta.

The only problem I had with it is that it always felt like she was keeping us at arms length. It was as if she wasn’t comfortable letting so many people into her life on such an intimate level (not that I blame her one bit.) I just wanted to read more inane stuff about her life; the little weird things that go on in her world that must be very surreal. The crazy, the drama. It is would have made it feel a lot more personal to me. It was definitely personal but in some ways, also very the public face to the whole Jann Arden celebrity world. Or that could just be the Canadian coming out in her and we can’t blame her for that.

Perhaps her second book will give the inanity that I’m looking for. Not that it will matter, as I will likely love it anyway.

My rating: :-D :-D :-)

Sunday, April 9, 2006

The Joss Whedon Comic Collection,... er, Graphic Novel Review

Warm, buttered, biscuits with real maple syrup and a pot of strong coffee by my side… Can anything be finer? Joss Whedon is a close second. I’m not a huge comic fan but between him and Neil Gaiman, you really wouldn’t know it. Those two will lead you on a very slippery slope that ends with standing orders at your local comic shop. The comic guy, who works there, is way too helpful and it doesn’t help that we have similar tastes. Oh well, I’m enjoying it.

And we really should get onto why I’m writing this. It has been so long since I’ve written one of these, it is almost difficult. Sort of like getting out of practice and it doesn’t help that I’m reviewing a new medium. Comics are very visual (obviously) but I’ve found that they can be just as complex as most books. Especially compared to the piece of crap I’m reading right now but that is for another time and place….

First up, is Joss Whedon’s, Fray. Based in the Slayer universe except this takes place hundreds of years into the future. We have a world where the rich are very rich and the rest of us are very, very poor. There are flying cars, and lurkers, and radies, people who have mutated due to the sun’s radiation. And most importantly, we have Melanka Fray, the first Slayer to be called since the big event at the end of the Buffy finale. It has the same action you would expect from an episode of Buffy without the limitations you face during filming. For example, the first two pages of panels detail Mel’s fall from a high story building and everything she hits on her way down. Of course this doesn’t kill her or this would be the shortest comic ever produced. It also has that offbeat humor you come to expect and love from the mind of Joss. He is nice enough to give you some laugh out loud moments.

Karl Moline, penciller, did an amazing job bringing his words to life in the design of this whacked out world. Between Karl and the rest of the art team, they were able to bring to life the most important thing about being a Slayer.... Hair to die for. Yep, Mel had really great hair and that is worth the price of admission right there. Added bonus is the wonderful job they (Joss included) did bringing to life a character like Loo. She is the greatest thing ever at pulling those good ole heartstrings. Sorry, can’t say more about that.

Up next is Serenity: Those Left Behind. This little three-parter bridges the gap between the last episode of Firefly and the movie Serenity. We get to see Inara leave and the return of Dobson, the guy Mal shot in the first two hour episode. He has a grudge against Mal and would like to be the one to take Mal out of this world in the most painful way possible. The Blue Hand Alliance Agents strike a deal with Dobson, he gets Mal if they can get River. Yeah for Cooperation!!

The artists must have been fans of the show because they did an amazing job on rendering the likeness of the actors to the graphic novel world. Nowhere was I brought out of the illusion to think that they were only doing vague representations.

The only problem I had with this one is that I found it too rushed. They had a lot to get in and while there was good build-up, the ending seemed abrupt. And the other problem I had was that River seemed a little off, word-wise. A couple of times, Conrad had her saying stuff that just didn’t seem very River like. But I suspect she might be the hardest one to bring to the page without Summer Glau’s magic behind the character.

And last but not least, we have Astonishing X-Men: Gifted, which is the first six comics in Joss’ series packaged into one graphic novel. This is the first X-Men comic I’ve ever read and it was pretty good. Jean Grey is gone and Professor Xavier has left the school in the hands of Scott (Cyclops) and Emma Frost. We also have Beast (my personal favorite X-Men character), Wolverine, and Kitty Pryde. It is announced that an agency has developed a new cure to the mutant gene that causes no small amount of turmoil in the mutant community, including Team X-Men.

This is my first introduction to the characters Emma Frost and Kitty Pryde so I feel that I’ve missed something in not knowing their history. It would have been nice to get some background but it looks like I’ll have to do my own research for that. So for the X-Men uninitiated, it might be a little hard going. If you can skip over anything you don’t understand, you will do fine and love the humor Joss puts into this world. He does an excellent job with Beast and it is obvious that Kitty is his favorite... I’m sure his foreword didn’t tip me off at all.

The only thing left to say about all of these graphic novels is that they leave you wanting more which I suspect, Joss takes personal glee in. I have no problem visualizing him running around his office, giggling like a little school girl, over the angst he has produced in his fans concerning our need to find out what happens next. Of course, this is completely done in private as he wouldn’t want to be known as a giggler.

He is too cool for that.

My rating: :D :D :D :D

Friday, April 7, 2006

Haunted by Heather Graham

Review by Red Bonney

This was a ghost story, something I don't see much of anymore, which was why I picked it up. Actually, I picked it up because I saw the author's name and wondered if she was the same woman who was in "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me". I don't mind saying I was a little disappointed when it wasn't, but by the time I realized that, I'd read the back cover and the first chapter, and already planned on buying it.

I found it in the romance section, and who knew it would turn out to be a cheap romance? To its credit, it has an excellent premise: An old southern plantation haunted by dozens of ghosts owned by Matt, the down-to-earth, non-believer county Sheriff, who is totally unimpressed by the occult and does not believe the problem has anything to do with a revenging spirit. Then, enter Darcy, the 'ghost hunter'. A buxom, redheaded ex-model who communicates with ghosts. Naturally, they have an innate attraction to each other they can't resist, though they do try.

The thing I liked best about this book was the ghost talk between the ghost investigators. There was a sense of frustration for Darcy who had this strange ability to know things and having to pass it off as simple investigation to everyone who either didn't believe in her or who wanted to exaggerate it for purposes of popularizing the idea of the haunted house. But this frustration only increased the tension between Darcy and Matt. Hence making it the cheap romance novel of Harlequin proportions. (Note: When I say cheap romance, it is a term of endearment, I mean no disrespect to the Harlequin establishment.)

The other side of this story is the mystery, which was the whole point to invite ghost hunters. The ghosts are creating a disturbance for some reason. Plus, it seems someone is trying to harm Darcy, though it's unclear why. Which makes it a good mystery. The Sheriff is concerned for her safety and where is the safest place he can put her? If you answered: In his own bed, you win a kewpie dawl. (Void where prohibited, what's a kewpie dawl?)

So, up to this point, I consider the book a good read and would recommend it to those who fall into the mystery, ghost story and romance novel categories. I won't comment on how it ends, except to say that it was left lacking. There seemed to be a lot of loose ends, and for some reason, the dialogue seemed to slip in quality. Like Heather's little sister tried to write the final three chapters. Still, the ending wasn't bad enough to make me hate the book. Overall, I'd give it 3.5 stars out of 5.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Angel-Seeker by Sharon Shinn

This has been a lazy on-my-butt weekend. So it was an excellent time to finish a Shinn book and this one kept me up until 5am last night because I couldn’t put it down and had to find out how it ended. Haven’t done this in ages.

It has been forever since I’ve read on of Shinn’s Archangel books. At one time, I’d have to reread her trilogy at least once a year. Then I get a pile of unread books and you get busy and you get into other stuff (aka Harry Potter fandom). Not to mention this one was first published in trade paperback size and I decided to wait for the mass market paperback. So all my fault really.

But I want to talk about Angel-Seeker. In the land of Samaria, there are humans and angels. The angels pray to Jovah on behalf of the humans for help in the weather or medicine, etc. The angels need the humans to reproduce. Angel-Seekers are women who entice angels to sleep with them, hoping to conceive an angel baby. If that happens, the Angel-Seeker gets to move, as a beloved member, into the Angelhold (the communities where the angels live. For a woman with no family or prospects, this seems like a good deal. The problem is, angel babies are quite rare and this can lead to a number of unwanted babies.

This story is told from the point of view of three characters. The first one is Elizabeth, a servant girl, who moves to the new Cedar Hills in the hopes of falling in love with an angel or conceive an angel baby. The second is Rebekah, who gives us our first inside look into the harsh world of the Jansai. She finds an injured angel in the desert, Obadiah (the third character) and this meeting springs their lives into a completely different direction.

I had been so worried that this book might have been a bad idea, sort of one of those staying too long at the party type of scenarios (Cough!StarWarsCough!). I loved the Archangel books and this is the first to break away from that setup. These books have a world I’d love to visit. Experience the Gloria (which is a yearly Woodstock) or walk through Luminaux or just people watch with a drink at a café in Cedar Hills. It is the world you fall in love with, but the stories keep it interesting.

Another fun game is to compare it to Lord of the Rings. I’m figuring that the Edori are very Hobbit like except they really like to travel. The Oracles could be considered the Wizards as they are good to go to for counsel and know lots of stuff. The angels have an ethereal or mystical quality that is rather elf like. The Jansai are not exactly as scary as an Orc but they are not nice people either. And I’m still trying to figure out the dwarf connection. … This is what happens when you read this book way too late at night.

But it is fun and I enjoyed walking in that world again. It also made me want to pick the old ones up again which is a good sign that Shinn didn’t ruin it for me. That was all I was asking for.

The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella

Review by Red Bonney

This was a fun little read. I'm not sure how much of it I missed because it was actually in a Readers Digest condensed book with three others that I probably won't get to or even think about ever again (one of them was a memoir of Bob Dole and I have to say how just the thought of reading that makes me sleepy.) Anyway, whatever it was that was cut out, it didn't seem integral to the main theme of the story.

It begins with Samantha Sweeting, a high powered big City Lawyer trying to "relax" at a day spa, though she's hidden her cell phone and her blackberry under her robe, unbeknownst to her masseur ... until she tries to send a clandestine e-mail. This does not open Samantha's eyes to the fact that she may be spending too much time working, though it does give the reader a bit of insight into the mental processes of our heroine. She's a hopeless workaholic.

Then, through a twist of fate, and on the very day she's about to make partner at a very powerful and prestigious law firm, she is thrown into a tailspin and finds herself miles away from the City and in a small country village where she unwittingly takes a job as a housekeeper. Earlier in the book, it had been proven that Samantha couldn't sew a button on a shirt. Shameful. I had to keep laughing at her thought processes, it almost seemed that she had always lived outside the real world and this was her first trip into it. Her employers also seem a little blind to her ineptitude. Only Nathaniel sees her for what she really is.

The romantic sub-plot, really more than a sub-plot (maybe this is what I missed by reading the condensed version), added to the hilarity, because everyone acts foolish when they first meet someone they're going to fall in love with later. I actually think this story is a morality tale on the dangers of lying and then exaggerating those lies later on when you're too afraid to tell the truth. The truth come will out, and it has the potential to explode in your face. Or throw a cream pie in your face if you're reading comedy.

It's a sweet story, and I say 'sweet' with it's old-fashioned meaning, as in light and slightly honeyed, but I felt the end came too soon. Again, the condensed book syndrome. Then again, it may be the sign of a good book if you don't want it to end. It's the books you can't wait for the end to come that you might want to shelve in an out of the way box in the basement, or sell to your local used bookstore, or release into the wild.

In case I haven't made it clear, I did like this book, and recommend it. I'm quite discerning with the books I rave about, and I don't think I'm raving here. It's a nice light read ... read it with a coffee crisp and you'll be floating home.

Saturday, March 4, 2006

Outbreak by Marianne Ruuth

Review by Red Bonney

I blame LoisAbductions Inc and InCoHerEnt for this. I can't read a book now without reviewing it. Any little slip of a book. The copious amounts of rum help too. (Host here... hehehe, my work here is done.)

First thing I have to say is that this book was written in 1977. Which might explain what I thought was basically a B-movie in print. It was about a Utopian society that was foolishly run by men. I mean by foolish power men. Everyone in the society was a blue eyed, blond haired specimen of human being, labeling themselves a "Primaries". Everyone else, presumably the dark eyed, dark haired people, were, as a result, called "Secondaries". The secondaries were servants, or to put it another way, slaves to the Primaries and thought to be other than human. It was illegal for a secondary to mate a primary. Not only illegal, but immoral.

It's meant to be a metaphor, the whole book, for racism, but it's very generalized, very black and white, not to put too find a point on it. It's supposed to shock the readers with it's immorality. I was shocked, but at the many typos and bad grammar. The dialogue was overly simplified, but I was able to think my way through, rewrite it in my head, so to speak. Still, it was almost embarrassing.

But getting past all the technicalities, the story takes you through some intense bigotry, from both sides. It's a fine piece of societal commentary. It's a warning against the dangers of technology and a reminder to look at history and learn the hard lessons. A glimpse at one possible future.

Then, there's the romantic subplot. Oona, a "Primary" woman tries to escape the coils of her perfect society, because perfection doesn't sit very well with her. Perfection consists of a drugged, semi-conscious existence, where most people are pliable and easily controlled by the all knowing, all powerful Father. In her bid for freedom, she meets Garth, a tough, worldly-wise Secondary man. From the very start, she feels an attraction to him, but she is confused by her feelings, having only ever been taught that such a relationship is an abomination, that he isn't really human the way she is.

Of course, it's not always black and white, sometimes it's hard to tell who to root for. That's what makes it a fun story. It's a little tattered around the edges, metaphorically speaking, but I think it's worth wading through. If you like early futuristic sci-fi ... well, it's not a great book, but if you're a die hard, it won't take you long to get through it.

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Violin by Anne Rice

Review by Red Bonney

They say that writing about music is like interpreting architecture through dance. Well, Anne Rice has given it a shot. The writing about music, not the dancing about architecture, but wouldn't that have been interesting too? Anybody want to start a petition (either for or against) please contact my host. (Host here... yeah, please don't.)

The book, Violin, was another ghost story. Stefan, a Russian prince and a gifted violinist from the eighteenth century wanders the spectral world, looking for people to haunt and drive insane with his music. He seems to be driven solely by his angst and self-suffering. Then he meets Triana, a fifty something, frumpy sort of woman, from 1997, whose angst leaves Stefan's miles behind. She feels personally responsible for the deaths of her mother, father, daughter and her husband, and revisits their deathbeds repeatedly throughout the whole book. Angst.

Stefan plays for Triana in her grief for her husband, enthralling her with his gift and they develop some weird sort of relationship bordering on lust. They argue with each other like an old married couple and then Triana steals his Stradivarius when his guard is down and poor Stefan is unable to take it back from her. He takes her instead to his past and shows her how he died for his very fine violin.

The story is so jam packed full of angst, I can't say the word enough, angst, that it hardly seems likely there will be a happy ending to it. The two of them compare and contrast their evil doings in life, how they betrayed their parents etc. They battle each other, fighting for the prize of the Stradivarius. Then they embrace like seasoned lovers, and it's hard to say which of them is the more insane.

As I was reading, I kept picturing Anne Rice as Triana, the main character and I get the impression she did too. And come on, snuggling with a young, handsome rockstar. Who wouldn't want that? It was kind of a frustrating book, with few action scenes and more reminiscences than I care to recount. As I said, she revisited the four great deaths in her life frequently, and got off on it too. Also, much of the descriptions went toward music and if a violin is played in a book, does anyone hear it? She described Beethoven's Ninth and I wished I was listening to Beethoven, it might have affected the way I felt about the book.

Maybe I would have understood it a little better. It's definitely something I have to read again, after I find a disk with Beethoven's Ninth to play in the background. I also think you should read it. It's a vivid, haunting (mind the pun), ghost story with a hint of unrequited romance. And so full of angst you'll think a teenager exploded onto the pages.

Cheers.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Weight of Water by Anita Shreve

Currently I’m out of town, so this review will be rougher than I’d normally post. It will also be the fastest written ever. Yes, very, very bad of me... you will start to think that I’m not taking this seriously. Yeah... like you are just starting to get that notion in your head... forget I said anything...

The Weight of Water is another in the series of books borrowed from the women at work. This one wasn't that bad though. I'm starting to think that I can trust the books I borrow from one person as we seem to have similar tastes when it comes to the normal fiction stuff. I doubt that I can get her into my weird stuff but that is okay. I'm not expecting miracles.

The main character, Jean, has been assigned to take pictures of the island Smuttynose, the scene of a horrible double murder that took place in the 1800's. Her marriage isn't the happiest at the moment and she suspects that her husband has or will cheat on her. As she researches what happened on that island so long ago, we see what can happen to someone who is pushed too far.

As for this book, it was quite compelling. It jumps back and forth from the present to the past which helped keep me on my toes. Anita Shreve writes in such a way as to very easily picture everything that is happening in a scene, as if I was watching a movie instead of a reading a book. What I'm trying to say is that the story is very visual and not a difficult book to pick up.

It is rather intense in places but not all that graphic, as it doesn't have to be since your brain can fill in everything that isn't explicitly written out. It is also very tragic but I didn't get that sense of loss that should be apparent. I would really like to discuss this point more but I don’t want to give the ending away. It is a good read but I’m not sure if I'd read anything else of her work. Might have to if we choose something of her's for the book club.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Forever Fifteen by Kimberly Steele

I am a weak, weak person. There are a million things I should be doing at this very moment, the clock is ticking down, but instead, I sit here and spend the afternoon and evening listening to an audio book… Oh how did I get sucked in?

I’m not even the audio book type of person. I like the feel of the paper and the smell of the pages. Book stores are my most favorite places in the world and sometimes I think that the only reason I go to work everyday is to finance my book collection. My living room feels somewhat like a library. But thanks to my MP3 player, it has lead to the discovery that I can somewhat safely walk and read at the same time. Quite tempting and consequently, I got sucked into this story.

Forever Fifteen is about a girl who was turned into a vampire many, many moons ago at the age of, you guessed it, fifteen. At the time, she was considered an adult, old enough to be married. But nowadays, she isn’t old enough to buy cigarettes and that must really suck. Reminds me of an old Buffy episode where Anya, a many century old demon but newly turned human, was trying to order a beer in a bar. Bartender asks for ID, she spouts off about how old she really is, undaunted he asks for the ID again, she accepts her fate and orders a coke. Just the memory of that scene makes me laugh.

But back to this story. Lucy had entered the foster care system and has spent the last many years ridding the world of lecherous foster parents, child molesters, and other bad people. She had been living with the Beck’s for awhile now and they are good people. No matter how old she really is, she looks fifteen and that means, going to high school, with all the drama that is included. A boy named John likes her and no matter what age you really are, that still brings on the angst. The story jumps back and forth, from current time to the past, where we learn of Lucy’s beginnings as a human, her turning into a vampire, and her life with Sebastian, her vampire sire/lover.

The story is explicit and nicely detailed in parts. It was read by the author, Kimberly Steele, and she does a good job. She kept the characters’ voices distinctive and kept it flowing nicely. I haven’t looked into why she has posted her story in this way but glad that she did. The only problem I had is that I thought that Lucy should have been written as more jaded or cynical. For hundreds of years, she has lived the life of a predator, living on the lowest of humans to survive. She has seen how horrible humans can be to each other but she came off as rather meek and mild. She would make Rory Gilmore look like a foul mouthed trucker. Not that there is anything wrong with being a foul mouthed trucker.

Anyway, the story did suck me in and I had to find out how it ended. Not that the ending was all that surprising or satisfying, but I really did need to know what happened to these characters. I did love the premise and for that alone, it deserves a read or in this case, a listen. Forever Fifteen can be found via the iTunes music store as a free download.

Thursday, February 9, 2006

Belle de Jour: The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl by Anonymous

I’ve been busy, busy, busy, but had no problem finishing this one. This is one I’ve wanted to read for awhile now. Another friend of ours told us all about it and it sounded good in a dirty sort of way. Not to mention, there was a hilarious story of a campaign by her sister to hide this book from her mother and then lie about it. An intro like that can not be ignored. Also, I couldn’t seem to find it in any bookstores so the lack of availability lead to even more want... sort of like that economic supply and demand thing.

Belle is a university educated and unemployed and living in London. Imagine Bridget Jones if she didn’t have that job at the book publishing house and instead decided to work as a high priced prostitute. They both write in the journal format and they both have caring parents. Both are looking for love. We should end the comparisons here. Unlike Bridget, Belle does not try looking for love from the workplace. She has a boyfriend and he knows about her profession and seems okay with it.

She is broke and job prospects are scarce. She contacts an agency to handle the business side of things. Yes, this is where the voice of reason should come in. This isn’t a very good career choice for anyone as I’m pretty sure my guidance counselor didn’t have that pamphlet in her collection of possible futures. But I opted to ignore that voice of reason and just treat this as an interesting character study. She is not in this line of work to support a drug habit, did not have a horrible childhood, and nor is she trying to live with a horrific trauma in her past. She is just a working girl who soon finds out that she can get paid a lot more for one night with a client than most of her other jobs combined.

Most of the entries are about her personal life and her friends. I was really hoping for more on the call girl side of things. There was a lot of that too but those were the parts I looked forward to the most. Not ‘cause I was looking for porn as everyone knows that the good porn is on the internet. And to be honest, I’ve read more explicit stuff elsewhere, just not often in chicklit book form. My favorite client story was the one where she talks about the guys who just want to cuddle. Or about the practical side of the job like how she would buy the regular products at one drug store and then buy all the “job” products (like condoms, lube, etc.) at another.

This was a definitely an interesting book and should be read by everyone who doesn’t have a problem with those type of things. Just fun.

Monday, February 6, 2006

The Pact by Jennifer Sturman

I really should have written this one up days ago but a friend gave me a book that is so nicely sordid that it hard to put down. More about that in the next review. Besides, I have a new cat and Simon prefers that I read than use the computer because it makes my lap more comfortable to sleep in. Oh, if only I had the life of my cat...

Well, since nothing of that has anything to do with the book I'm currently reviewing, this will be a very crude transition. The Pact is yet another in the series of borrowed books from the women at work. Just a couple more to go and I'll be free. We can only hope.

This one is chicklit goes Nancy Drew. It is a murder mystery and typically I don't do murder mysteries. They are okay 'n all but I get way too wound up trying to figure out who did it and I can't sit back and just enjoy it. As much as I love engaging literature, extra stress in my life is not what I'm looking for. Granted, this one doesn't rate higher than the Mickey Mouse Mystery Club so the valium prescription isn't required.

This book's Velma/Daphne is Rachel. Her old college roommate is getting married and she is playing the role of the maid of honor even though she hates the groom. So when Richard is found floating in the family swimming pool on the day of the wedding, she isn't all that grief-stricken. While the police are giving their all investigating the crime, the family and wedding party have been asked to stay at the house until they have it all figured out. As we soon learn, everyone has a motive to want him dead, even the best man whom Rachel has her sights on as prime boyfriend material. She plays Miss Marple and works to solve who did the dirty deed.

Anyway, it was an okay book. It felt very Murder She Wrote with a bit of “Voted Most Likely to Be Cancelled after Three Episodes” type of writing. Not necessarily horrible but I don't think I'll be admitting to anyone that I'd read this one. It would have been easier to live with if the characters had been stronger and not so caricature. You never get a scene with the vile Richard to see how vile he really is. We just have to trust this is the case via story recounts from the other characters. Even the detectives, who could have been interesting, were booted so very far into the background. They are almost non-entities and were really only a plot device. Oh well. If you like chicklit and some lite mystery, you might like this... I not so much.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hey Nostradamus! by Douglas Coupland

Hey, Nostradamus! I could use some words of advice. We are on the night of the election and I seem to have misplaced my liberal country. I know it is around here somewhere just a minute ago. Perhaps it will turn up but let me know if you see any of this in your cards... we could use some guidance. Actually, it isn’t as bad as all that, it could have been a Conservative majority government. Mind you, I will have to double check the standing before I post this and perhaps update later if that statement becomes untrue. Can’t wait to see what the future has in store.

As for this week’s review, it took me forever to sit down and write this up. Finished the book Thursday and have been busy ever since. Isn’t it funny how things have a tendency to come out of left field and mess up perfectly good days?

Hey Nostradamus! was written by Douglas Coupland, one of Canada’s premiere pop-authors and this is the third of his books that I’ve read. I enjoyed Microserfs because it was about my people. The geeks of the world shall unite! Or at least get computer jobs at Microsoft and spend loads of time in front of glowy screens. Oh, how I know that life... The second, Miss Wyoming, was not exactly a favorite of mine. Interesting but I didn’t care of any of the characters, they were all light, flaky Hollywood types. It had sort of felt like someone was trying to write in Coupland’s style and it wasn’t him at all behind the words.

This book made up for that one. And that is saying a lot considering that I when I heard what the story was about, I really hated the premise. Basically, a Vancouver suburban high school is the scene of a Columbine-esque massacre and how the ripples of that event affect the future which made me feel that the story was really unnecessary. Do we really need to rehash something like that over and over again? I like that I can say that I stand corrected.

The story is broken in four parts. First is the story of Cheryl, the last victim of the shootings and perhaps prophet? GOD IS NOWHERE / GOD IS NOW HERE. She sets the stage for the world we are about to enter and introduces the main character of this story, Jason, who takes center stage in part two. Ten years later, he never got over losing Cheryl and for awhile was wrongly considered the mastermind behind the killings that day. The third part is dedicated to Heather, the woman Jason meets and tries to make a life with. The last part is a look at Reg, Jason’s religious fanatical father, and considered bad guy for most of the story.

All is written in the form of confessional letters, from characters trying to find meaning in life and discovering they can’t hold onto those they love no matter how hard they try. The story is about something unexpected and deeper than I ever expected.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

No real life crap, just jumping right to the book...


That's how it goes, you think you're on top of the world,
and suddenly they spring Armageddon on you.
*


There is so much I want to InCoHerEntLy say about this book.

But first, I have to say that I’m terribly disappointed in an educational system that has kept me from such a book for the last sixteen years. Granted, only about three of those sixteen years were spent in the public education sector. But I believe that to be a big enough window for at least one of my instructors to make an attempt at suggesting the importance of reading it if they had been as well read as they had claimed. Good Omens would have prevented a little late adolescent angst on the religious spectrum. Or, I would like to think it would have.

Please don't start to think that I believe that Good Omens should be considered the end all and be all of spiritual guides for our generation. I'm not that wacked. But it did surprise me in it's depth for what I had just assumed was just a comedy in the same league as Kevin Smith's film, Dogma. (And yes, I liked that movie but those thoughts are best saved for another time and place.)


CAVEAT:
Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous.
Do not attempt it in your home.


We really shouldn't get ahead of ourselves but I fear that I will try to describe it and end up making it sound like a summary of a third grade play. A task that is like trying to describe the Bible in fifty words or less... ooohh, a game... let's give it a try... God created the earth, you get a bunch of sin and morality tales. One of the grandest stories in the collection details how God's only son is killed as part of the ineffable Plan. Other stuff happen and then an ending describing Armageddon that would make any fantasy writer proud. The End. ...hmmm... 50 words on the dot but would you read it?

With that in mind and much trepidation, we will give Good Omens a shot: the Antichrist is born and puts into the play the Ineffable Plan of Armageddon. (The real danger of this book is that it makes you want to use the word ‘ineffable’ a lot.) Aziraphale (angel) and Crowley (demon), the true stars of this story, don’t exactly want that to happen as they like Earth just as it is. They team up to attempt to stop all of human existence from ending in one big train wreck. Due to a hospital mix-up, the Antichrist is incorrectly switched at birth and spends the next eleven years growing up in nice Lower Tadfield. So, the end of humanity is scheduled for this Saturday and you can't have the end of time without the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, 90’s style, wearing Hell’s Angels jackets and riding motorcycles. Not to mention witches, Witchfinders, demons, angels, aliens, Tibetans, Americans, etc, etc, etc... all told in a comedic voice so sharp it could be considered brutal if you weren't too busy laughing.

See what I mean? Not so great in the description department but I hope you will read it anyway. Personally, I enjoyed the general sense of doom you feel that is usually only achievable after a morbid “Disaster Recovery Plan” work meeting. Except Good Omens is much funnier than most management seminars not attended by Scott Adams.

It's the type of book that will make you want to crawl inside and see the world the authors are serving up to us. Granted it would not be that different from today's London but it would be interesting to visit Aziraphale's bookshop. That is if you could happen to find it open and withstand the glowering looks of the owner. And although I'm not much of a car lover, it would be fun to take a spin in Crowley's Bentley with Queen belting from the speakers. The story definitely leaves you wanting more and that could explain the fandom that has sprung from just one book published in the long ago days of 1990. The book is also one of the few that would find its way onto my to-be-read-again shelf.

Normally I wouldn't tell people I don't know what to do but if you haven't read Good Omens, go buy it. Or if you have, you should read it again and let the approaching Apocalypse bring a smile to your face. Cheers!

Have a nice doomsday.


*All bolded quotes were written by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, copyrighted 1990, Workman Publishing Company. I would consider it one of the signs of the apocalypse if I could write something with half as much wit.

Saturday, January 7, 2006

A Telling of Stars by Caitlin Sweet

Review by Greta Dean

I stumbled upon this book entirely by accident. Most books I read tend to be the high recommendation of a friend/acquaintance/family member, but this one is entirely my fault. A Telling of Stars is about the journey of a girl, Jaele, on the cusp of womanhood to avenge the murder of her family. It is a coming of age story tinged with blood-rage.

Through her travels, Jaele meets a series of people who seem to want neither to help nor hinder her, although most of them try to persuade her that revenge killing is not a good idea. The characters range from the normal human variety to such alien creatures as exiled sea people forced to live on their ravaged desert homeland, and captive, cave dwelling, horned and taloned Iben, to whom the story is being told.

All in all, it was a good book, although the style was sluggish at times. It had the feel of a book written for teens (and for all I know, it was) and still trying to be enchanting to a more "mature" reading group. I recommend it on the sole basis that it is not set in some mid-western one-horse town that is visited by a big city kid, or vice versa.

And that is all I have to say about this...

Friday, January 6, 2006

Amanda's Wedding by Jenny Colgan

My new goal for 2006 is to read at least one book a week. So far, I have finished two books which means I'm on schedule so far. The first finished book of 2006 was Pride and Prejudice and I decided that it was too good to get the InCoHerEnt treatment. Plus, it was a book I had read before so it wasn't as if it was something I was going in fresh with. Not to mention, I had seen the movie... and before that, the BBC mini-series like a million times... and committed to memory Bridget Jone's Diary (the book and the movie...) it has all been said before.

Amanda's Wedding, by Jenny Colgan, is yet another blasted book borrowed from one of the women from work. Geez, at this rate, I will never have to visit the library again.... but then, the unread book pile in my living room is starting to look like some unorganized library stack. I swear, the next book I read is going to be one of mine.

Anyway, back to what I had come here to discuss... Amanda's Wedding is about ... Amanda's wedding. Basically, main character Melanie, who is your typical late 90's twenty-something person out and about London, gets a call from her old friend Amanda. Turns out she is marrying a guy Melanie used to have a crush on but he had no clue. Amanda is not a nice person. She is all about social climbing and looking for the guy to fill the role of husband to take part in the biggest wedding event to hit London society. Melanie and her friends band together to try and put a stop to this travesty.

Fun stuff does happen, and there were some laugh out loud moments. The author, Jenny Colgan, worked as a stand-up comedian to perfect the material for this book (as per the dustcover) and that does come through. Not to mention, there were a few times I wasn't sure what was going to happen. That does not often happen with this type of book. My only gripe is that she didn't end up with the guy I thought she should have. I'll leave it at that because I don't want to ruin that surprise ending for you. But then, I'm sure you can figure it out without any problem. Good luck with that. My only second gripe is that it didn't feel very UKish. You know how you can see something on tv or a movie or read a book and just know it is Canadian or British or whatever just by instinct. I didn't feel that vibe with this book. But then, I believe the author is Scottish so that might have thrown me off a bit.