You can thank my local crack dealer for this one. Well, not really a crack dealer, he sells comics. Comics have become my new little addiction and it can give me the same zone out brainspace I usually can only achieve with stupid movies or sci-fi television. Anyway, I was in the local comic store when I spotted Fell issue 8 and picked it up. I was standing there, all bummed that I had missed out on the early issue of this series when the comic store guy hands me this volume of the first eight stories all so sweetly bound in a hardcopy edition. That guy is so evil.
Fell is about Detective Richard Fell who has been transferred to the bad side of the river for reasons that have yet to be determined. Snowtown is the demon child of urban decay. It is a city in fear; crime is so rampant that the police force has little effect to stamp it out. Most crimes go unreported and the ones that do, go mostly unsolved. Criminals are not afraid of the police as they are understaffed, burned out, and generally insane in some fashion. It is sort of like Gotham City but without the superheroes to get in the way. The only monsters in this story are the human ones. Fell is a good detective who can talk a bomber out of blowing up a building or get a confession out of someone who knows that they don’t have any evidence to convict. He uses logic to create order out of a world that only knows chaos. It all your favourite crime dramas and film noirs and urban decay stories all rolled up into one.
The art in this series deserves a paragraph all of its own. I could spend hours just absorbing the artwork of Ben Templesmith. There no smooth lines or perfect glossy finishes in this book. The lines have a frenetic energy that tell you that this is not a simple, colouring inside the lines, type of world. It is dirty, it is messy, and very human in its lowest form. The boy has talent.
All I can say is that I think this is the best series I’ve read since Sandman sucked me into this medium. It is the type that wants you to tell all your friends about it and make them read it just so that you can have someone to share it with. It is the type that makes you want to devour each chapter but also, you force yourself to enjoy it slowly because you know that once you finish the eighth chapter, you won’t have anymore until they print volume two. There better be a second volume.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Saturday, June 16, 2007
The Renegade by Margaret St. George
As with pretty much every book I review, there seems to be a story attached as to why I have decided that of all the books on my shelf, this is the reason why I picked this one up to finish. I don’t have a hugely good reason why this time around.
The office I work in had a silent auction of things people had around the house that they don’t want anymore. Basically, it was a spring-cleaning motivator and instead of chucking those old appliances, crafts, figurines or books into the trash, people donated them to us to help raise money for the United Way. Someone donated a box of old Harlequins, and since I wasn’t interested in anything else, I bid a dollar on five different bundles of four each. I wanted to bid on something and if I ended up getting one or two, I figured they would make a pretty good gift to an aunt who I know loves those books. I ended up getting the winning bid on all five. So now I have a pile of them by my coffee table and who knows when I’ll see my aunt next. Feeling nostalgic for the old days, I grabbed one for a nice quick read.
This was the one on top and it seemed to have a slightly more original storyline than most. You see, Sam is an avenging angel and he has been assigned to Brett’s case. It turns out that someone has killed her soon-to-be ex-husband and she is the prime suspect. If Sam doesn’t find the real killer, Brett faces life in prison for a crime she didn’t commit. And to make it more interesting, in this day and age, avenging angels can’t just perform miracles and make it all better. They have to find clues and create a case so that the evidence can hold up in a court of law for the guilty. They are like private detectives with wings.
So premise wise, it was top notch. It was the type of story I could imagine someone developing into a weekly serial for television. Each week: a new case, quirky avenging angel detectives, righting wrongs and saving the innocent. Sort of a little bit like Quantum Leap and Touched by An Angel meets The A-Team. Sort of.
The mystery part of the book wasn’t bad either. It kept the action going and it made up for the rest that was pretty mushy. The sparks between Sam and Brett wasn’t all that explosive and you couldn’t really figure out why they ended up in love with each other, especially in such a short period of time. (Other than it was in the author’s contract with Harlequin to get the two protagonists together by the end of the story.) So, character-wise, it was pretty bland. But if you can forgive it for that sin, it wasn’t bad as a light mystery novel.
As for the rest of the charity auction books, I predict a new home for them in the not-to-distant future.
The office I work in had a silent auction of things people had around the house that they don’t want anymore. Basically, it was a spring-cleaning motivator and instead of chucking those old appliances, crafts, figurines or books into the trash, people donated them to us to help raise money for the United Way. Someone donated a box of old Harlequins, and since I wasn’t interested in anything else, I bid a dollar on five different bundles of four each. I wanted to bid on something and if I ended up getting one or two, I figured they would make a pretty good gift to an aunt who I know loves those books. I ended up getting the winning bid on all five. So now I have a pile of them by my coffee table and who knows when I’ll see my aunt next. Feeling nostalgic for the old days, I grabbed one for a nice quick read.
This was the one on top and it seemed to have a slightly more original storyline than most. You see, Sam is an avenging angel and he has been assigned to Brett’s case. It turns out that someone has killed her soon-to-be ex-husband and she is the prime suspect. If Sam doesn’t find the real killer, Brett faces life in prison for a crime she didn’t commit. And to make it more interesting, in this day and age, avenging angels can’t just perform miracles and make it all better. They have to find clues and create a case so that the evidence can hold up in a court of law for the guilty. They are like private detectives with wings.
So premise wise, it was top notch. It was the type of story I could imagine someone developing into a weekly serial for television. Each week: a new case, quirky avenging angel detectives, righting wrongs and saving the innocent. Sort of a little bit like Quantum Leap and Touched by An Angel meets The A-Team. Sort of.
The mystery part of the book wasn’t bad either. It kept the action going and it made up for the rest that was pretty mushy. The sparks between Sam and Brett wasn’t all that explosive and you couldn’t really figure out why they ended up in love with each other, especially in such a short period of time. (Other than it was in the author’s contract with Harlequin to get the two protagonists together by the end of the story.) So, character-wise, it was pretty bland. But if you can forgive it for that sin, it wasn’t bad as a light mystery novel.
As for the rest of the charity auction books, I predict a new home for them in the not-to-distant future.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Fanny: Being the True History of the Adventures of Fanny Hackabout-Jones by Erica Jong
Review by Red Bonney
Oh, it’s so hard to be subtle while walking out of a bookstore with book explicitly displaying the exposed leg of a woman sporting a red silk garter. One must grit one’s teeth and dare society to look down on one for reading something that clearly possesses smutty subjects. I’m here to say, however that this book is more than your typical romance where girl meets boy, girl and boy fall in love (she met many more than just one boy), overcome some piddling adversity and live happily ever after. It’s a tale of epic proportions of one woman’s adventures and struggles in the wide world, who merely wants her fair share of happiness and means to get it. It’s a book of instruction and hard learned lessons.
The story was set in the eighteenth century and penned loosely in the language of the era, which was not as difficult to read as I thought it would, written as it was by a twentieth century woman not unsympathetic to her readers. Once I got into the flow of the story, the language and archaic spelling was easier to overcome. It was handy in a way, as it set it apart from the other books I was reading at the same time.
The tale was narrated by Fanny herself, (based loosely on the character from Cleland’s Fanny) to her daughter whom she wishes to impart her life lessons to prevent her from falling into the same traps life sets. ‘Tis folly, I say, to try and instruct someone when only personal experience will do, but it doesn’t hurt to try, I suppose. Anyway, the heroine, Fanny, was an orphan adopted by the Lord and Lady Bellars, spending her childhood years in relative comfort and ease in the country and isolation from the outside world with her step-brother and step-sister. She grew up without want for anything, a large house, fine clothes and an education, which as the story unfolds, becomes her most valuable possession. Forced to flee her childhood home of comforts, she makes her way to London to seek her fortune. Along the way, she encounters many colourful and memorable characters who influence her future and her fortune which ebbs and flows throughout the book.
The most annoying aspect of this book is that Fanny is a modern woman set in the past. She is a modern feminist in a time when even women generally thought themselves inferior. (I’m currently reading a book about the history of Misogyny - my next book to review- and it’s going to ooze into everything I write from now on). I kept mistaking the book to be a true history of the time, except for this one modern sort of woman. Oh, she had her moments where I just thought ‘what the hell are you thinking?’, but for the most part, I thought she was a very brave, daring girl and I wish I were more like her. Not the part where she was a prostitute for a year, but the rest wasn’t too bad.
This book surprised me, not that I was expecting it to be a crappy book or anything. It was easy to get sucked in just by reading the chapter titles, which were long and descriptive of the chapters they preceded. I hated to put it down because when I saw it sitting there on the table, it looked daunting and heavy, but I couldn’t just stop at the end of the page, I had to keep reading it and it’s one I’ll definitely read again in the future.
Oh, it’s so hard to be subtle while walking out of a bookstore with book explicitly displaying the exposed leg of a woman sporting a red silk garter. One must grit one’s teeth and dare society to look down on one for reading something that clearly possesses smutty subjects. I’m here to say, however that this book is more than your typical romance where girl meets boy, girl and boy fall in love (she met many more than just one boy), overcome some piddling adversity and live happily ever after. It’s a tale of epic proportions of one woman’s adventures and struggles in the wide world, who merely wants her fair share of happiness and means to get it. It’s a book of instruction and hard learned lessons.
The story was set in the eighteenth century and penned loosely in the language of the era, which was not as difficult to read as I thought it would, written as it was by a twentieth century woman not unsympathetic to her readers. Once I got into the flow of the story, the language and archaic spelling was easier to overcome. It was handy in a way, as it set it apart from the other books I was reading at the same time.
The tale was narrated by Fanny herself, (based loosely on the character from Cleland’s Fanny) to her daughter whom she wishes to impart her life lessons to prevent her from falling into the same traps life sets. ‘Tis folly, I say, to try and instruct someone when only personal experience will do, but it doesn’t hurt to try, I suppose. Anyway, the heroine, Fanny, was an orphan adopted by the Lord and Lady Bellars, spending her childhood years in relative comfort and ease in the country and isolation from the outside world with her step-brother and step-sister. She grew up without want for anything, a large house, fine clothes and an education, which as the story unfolds, becomes her most valuable possession. Forced to flee her childhood home of comforts, she makes her way to London to seek her fortune. Along the way, she encounters many colourful and memorable characters who influence her future and her fortune which ebbs and flows throughout the book.
The most annoying aspect of this book is that Fanny is a modern woman set in the past. She is a modern feminist in a time when even women generally thought themselves inferior. (I’m currently reading a book about the history of Misogyny - my next book to review- and it’s going to ooze into everything I write from now on). I kept mistaking the book to be a true history of the time, except for this one modern sort of woman. Oh, she had her moments where I just thought ‘what the hell are you thinking?’, but for the most part, I thought she was a very brave, daring girl and I wish I were more like her. Not the part where she was a prostitute for a year, but the rest wasn’t too bad.
This book surprised me, not that I was expecting it to be a crappy book or anything. It was easy to get sucked in just by reading the chapter titles, which were long and descriptive of the chapters they preceded. I hated to put it down because when I saw it sitting there on the table, it looked daunting and heavy, but I couldn’t just stop at the end of the page, I had to keep reading it and it’s one I’ll definitely read again in the future.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Working Stiff by Grant Stoddard
Smirk.
In some ways, I should just leave it at that. But I won’t. I can’t.
Just when you think you’re a mature individual and gotten over any possible embarrassment over buying a book about a guy’s sexual exploits, you get comments from an over friendly sales associate. The ever so kind cashier gave me a little smirk while he was placing it in a bag and then had to comment on my choice of purchase. I make some offhand comment about it looking too funny to pass up but on the inside, I’m feeling like I’ve just bought porn and my mother is the one taking my money. And after reading this fun little book, that seems rather fitting.
Basically, Working Stiff is the autobiography of one man’s experience as a columnist for the webzine, Nerve. His assignment was to go out and perform sexual experiments and report back in the form of a high school lab report. He did this for two and some years. And he did everything. Nothing was too weird, deviant, or gross. And you get some of that is this retelling of his life but not really. He didn’t grow up wanting to be a sex reporter, he just wanted to live in America and jumped at a chance that would pay his rent and keep him in the country. He is the everyman thrown into situations that he stumbles his way through. (My favourite would have to be his time at Leather Camp.) What you didn’t get through his old column is his parent’s reaction to his line of work. Or how assignments affected his dating life.
There were a few very explicit scenes and this is definitely not a book I’d recommend for just anyone. The writing style reminded me more of the stuff I’ve read off of the internet than anything I’d read in book form. If you are not used to that, you might find it a little graphic. And the fact that it was non-fiction added a certain sense of surrealism to the text that you wouldn’t accept from a fictionalized story. But it was undeniably funny and I can’t think of a single thing more amusing than sex.
Smirk.
In some ways, I should just leave it at that. But I won’t. I can’t.
Just when you think you’re a mature individual and gotten over any possible embarrassment over buying a book about a guy’s sexual exploits, you get comments from an over friendly sales associate. The ever so kind cashier gave me a little smirk while he was placing it in a bag and then had to comment on my choice of purchase. I make some offhand comment about it looking too funny to pass up but on the inside, I’m feeling like I’ve just bought porn and my mother is the one taking my money. And after reading this fun little book, that seems rather fitting.
Basically, Working Stiff is the autobiography of one man’s experience as a columnist for the webzine, Nerve. His assignment was to go out and perform sexual experiments and report back in the form of a high school lab report. He did this for two and some years. And he did everything. Nothing was too weird, deviant, or gross. And you get some of that is this retelling of his life but not really. He didn’t grow up wanting to be a sex reporter, he just wanted to live in America and jumped at a chance that would pay his rent and keep him in the country. He is the everyman thrown into situations that he stumbles his way through. (My favourite would have to be his time at Leather Camp.) What you didn’t get through his old column is his parent’s reaction to his line of work. Or how assignments affected his dating life.
There were a few very explicit scenes and this is definitely not a book I’d recommend for just anyone. The writing style reminded me more of the stuff I’ve read off of the internet than anything I’d read in book form. If you are not used to that, you might find it a little graphic. And the fact that it was non-fiction added a certain sense of surrealism to the text that you wouldn’t accept from a fictionalized story. But it was undeniably funny and I can’t think of a single thing more amusing than sex.
Smirk.
Monday, May 21, 2007
My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
First book completed on my vacation read-a-thon. Well, perhaps it won’t be a read-a-thon considering I want to get out of the house a few times but I need to get some of these done. This is as good a time as any.
This is the second Picoult book I’ve read and all I can say is that the woman loves to make you cry. She must get some perverse pleasure out of it. Or perhaps, she is like Stephen King and feels that if you write about the things you fear the most, it will cause them not to happen, like losing a child.
In both Picoult books I’ve read, there is a death, and grief, and pain, and loss. All the feelings and emotions people go through and hope to never have to. Here, we watch a family struggle with the effects of leukemia. The oldest daughter, Kate, was diagnosed with cancer at the age of two and from that day on, it has become one mother’s personal battle to keep her child alive. One way to do that is to conceive a child that is a close genetic match for your sick child so that they can donate the cord blood cells. That works for a while but down the road, remission turns into relapse. Then blood is needed or bone marrow. Sometimes, that single-minded focus to keep one child alive makes other things fall to the side. Your oldest son turns into a juvenile delinquent. Your other daughter goes to a lawyer to petition the court for medical emancipation from her parents. She doesn’t want to donate her kidney to her sister or at least, she wants to be asked.
This book is filled with all the moral dilemmas and the what ifs and the what would you do questions. You can understand how a parent would want to do anything in their power to help their child, keep that child with them for one more day. But what of those that get hurt in the process? No easy answers. Picoult loves taking a subject like this and exploring the family dynamics that are affected by this predicament.
Ultimately, Picoult books are an interesting read. I’ve found some similarities in the two that I’ve read: courtroom scenes that come with shocking testimony confessions and lawyers with a slightly skewed sense of the world. Mothers that you sometimes don’t really like but you find yourself making allowances for. It makes you wonder what her relationship was like with her own mother.
The best thing about her books: they are great for book clubs. You will not have any problems coming up with things to talk about after reading them.
This is the second Picoult book I’ve read and all I can say is that the woman loves to make you cry. She must get some perverse pleasure out of it. Or perhaps, she is like Stephen King and feels that if you write about the things you fear the most, it will cause them not to happen, like losing a child.
In both Picoult books I’ve read, there is a death, and grief, and pain, and loss. All the feelings and emotions people go through and hope to never have to. Here, we watch a family struggle with the effects of leukemia. The oldest daughter, Kate, was diagnosed with cancer at the age of two and from that day on, it has become one mother’s personal battle to keep her child alive. One way to do that is to conceive a child that is a close genetic match for your sick child so that they can donate the cord blood cells. That works for a while but down the road, remission turns into relapse. Then blood is needed or bone marrow. Sometimes, that single-minded focus to keep one child alive makes other things fall to the side. Your oldest son turns into a juvenile delinquent. Your other daughter goes to a lawyer to petition the court for medical emancipation from her parents. She doesn’t want to donate her kidney to her sister or at least, she wants to be asked.
This book is filled with all the moral dilemmas and the what ifs and the what would you do questions. You can understand how a parent would want to do anything in their power to help their child, keep that child with them for one more day. But what of those that get hurt in the process? No easy answers. Picoult loves taking a subject like this and exploring the family dynamics that are affected by this predicament.
Ultimately, Picoult books are an interesting read. I’ve found some similarities in the two that I’ve read: courtroom scenes that come with shocking testimony confessions and lawyers with a slightly skewed sense of the world. Mothers that you sometimes don’t really like but you find yourself making allowances for. It makes you wonder what her relationship was like with her own mother.
The best thing about her books: they are great for book clubs. You will not have any problems coming up with things to talk about after reading them.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Hot Stuff by By Janet Evanovich and Leanne Banks
Quick review. This story was complete fluff and not that much to talk about. It had a plot that tried to be complicated but it felt much more suited in a novel for teenagers.
Basically, girl is working her butt off going to school and working nights in a bar. Boy comes in and is a cutie but is acting awfully mysterious. Girl’s drag queen roommate takes off and leaves her to look after his rather large and new bullmastiff dog named Beast. Girl knows nothing about dogs and in walks handsome stranger to lend her a hand. But why is tall, dark, and yummy hanging around so much? Can girl trust him? You will have to read the book to find out.
There were some laugh out loud moments and some of the friend scenes reminded me a lot of my friends. So it was a fun read. Sort of like ice cream: I really know that I shouldn’t but darn it, it was tasty eating even if I feel a little guilty afterwards.
Basically, girl is working her butt off going to school and working nights in a bar. Boy comes in and is a cutie but is acting awfully mysterious. Girl’s drag queen roommate takes off and leaves her to look after his rather large and new bullmastiff dog named Beast. Girl knows nothing about dogs and in walks handsome stranger to lend her a hand. But why is tall, dark, and yummy hanging around so much? Can girl trust him? You will have to read the book to find out.
There were some laugh out loud moments and some of the friend scenes reminded me a lot of my friends. So it was a fun read. Sort of like ice cream: I really know that I shouldn’t but darn it, it was tasty eating even if I feel a little guilty afterwards.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
It has been way, way, way too long since I’ve sat down and wrote a review. But then, it has been too long since I’ve finished a book or at least, it feels that way. This is a book club book and an awesome one at that. It deserves to have some remembrance given to it.
The Glass Castle is one of those books that make you realize how good you’ve had it all these years. How everyone you know has had it good and how horrible bad can be for others. And sometimes, the choices people make may not be the best for them but they have to live their own life. You can’t save some people from themselves.
Sorry, this has totally told you nothing about the book... it is an actual account of the author’s childhood, growing up with nomadic/bohemian parents and three other siblings who were one step away from living off the grid. They had grand dreams, the mother wanted to be a world famous artist and the father had get rich quick schemes finding gold in the desert. If only he could get his contraption working, if only he could stop drinking. If only. They were extremely smart individuals; they just had trouble holding a job even if it meant that the family didn’t eat that month. The kids would scrounge in garbage bins for their classmate’s scraps to keep from starving. Living in homes, infested with rodents and insects, which should have been condemned. It was like an Americanized version of Angela’s Ashes.
But it wasn’t all bad. There was an attractive sense of adventure, especially in the early chapters before they ended up stuck in Welch, an out of work mining town in the hills of West Virginia. Like the Christmas each of the kids were given their very own star as a gift. Jumping into the car and not knowing what the road had in store. The hours spent drawing up the plans for their dream home, the Glass Castle, which they never got around to building. The sense that imagination and ingenuity were the best gifts a person could possess. The feeling that family was the most important thing in the world and if you had your family, things really weren’t all that bad.
Anyway, I’ve tried to be vague so that I don’t ruin for you all the weird and wacky stuff that happens to this family over the years. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction.
The Glass Castle is one of those books that make you realize how good you’ve had it all these years. How everyone you know has had it good and how horrible bad can be for others. And sometimes, the choices people make may not be the best for them but they have to live their own life. You can’t save some people from themselves.
Sorry, this has totally told you nothing about the book... it is an actual account of the author’s childhood, growing up with nomadic/bohemian parents and three other siblings who were one step away from living off the grid. They had grand dreams, the mother wanted to be a world famous artist and the father had get rich quick schemes finding gold in the desert. If only he could get his contraption working, if only he could stop drinking. If only. They were extremely smart individuals; they just had trouble holding a job even if it meant that the family didn’t eat that month. The kids would scrounge in garbage bins for their classmate’s scraps to keep from starving. Living in homes, infested with rodents and insects, which should have been condemned. It was like an Americanized version of Angela’s Ashes.
But it wasn’t all bad. There was an attractive sense of adventure, especially in the early chapters before they ended up stuck in Welch, an out of work mining town in the hills of West Virginia. Like the Christmas each of the kids were given their very own star as a gift. Jumping into the car and not knowing what the road had in store. The hours spent drawing up the plans for their dream home, the Glass Castle, which they never got around to building. The sense that imagination and ingenuity were the best gifts a person could possess. The feeling that family was the most important thing in the world and if you had your family, things really weren’t all that bad.
Anyway, I’ve tried to be vague so that I don’t ruin for you all the weird and wacky stuff that happens to this family over the years. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
The Pleasure Slave by Gena Showalter
I can’t believe that the first book I review for 2007 is this one. In some ways, I think I should feel a little embarrassed about it but alas, I don’t… you wanna know why? Cause this was the most awesome book in the world. I have never read something that gave me such joy… Let me explain why.
The story starts out with our hero, Tristan, and his mistress, Zirra. They have just had a rather long session of sex and they are in the lounging about phase. Tristan is a warrior and he has just gotten a call that his kingdom needs him to go fight. This upsets Zirra because she is one insatiable little minx and wants to have a go at round twenty or thirty or whatever. Tristan laughs at her and tells her that he loves his kingdom more than her and that they had just been using each other. You see, he is a mortal and will die, whereas she is Druinn, immortal, with magical powers. Zirra, not taking rejection well, casts a spell on him. He will remain a pleasure slave, trapped in a jewelled box, forced to obey his master for all time or for as long as that master owns the box. He can only be released from the bonds of slavery by his one true love. It is soon discovered what Zirra has done and she is punished for her crime against the mortal (can’t destroy the peace treaty. Yay politics!) The box is thrown into the universe and she is stripped of her powers.
Welcome to present day and we meet Julia, someone's one true love. An antique dealer, she finds an old jewelled box at a flea market and decides to take it home. Much to her surprise, she discovers that she also gets a love slave out of the deal. You know, I've been to a dozen flea markets and never have I come home with anything like that. Not much happens in the way of plot, a lot of talking, shopping montage, porn, porn, porn, and then the end.
Now you must be asking yourself, why? How is all of that all that great? Well, it is all about Tristan. Not only is he a hunk of burning love, expert in the ways of carnal delights, elite warrior, gorgeous specimen of all things male, barely wearing a stitch of clothes but the absolute ultimate note on his resume: he is an alien. Alien! From another planet alien! I mean, OMG! WTF! (Fill in your own freaked out netspeak here)! It is that little detail that makes it perfect.
Also, when you pick up a book with the title The Pleasure Slave it has some expectations it has to live up to. And oh boy, this book lives up to those expectations; it was a couple steps away from porn. But not super graphic so I wouldn’t feel that weird giving it to my aunt to read. The main character Julia wasn’t bad as characters go and she develops as expected. My favourite character had to be Gary, the gay personal shopper, who practically turned into a puddle at Tristan’s feet. Now that was fun.
Anyway, it wasn’t exactly the best genie in a bottle scenario I’ve ever read but it was a lot of fun. Perfect for an afternoon of pure fluff.
My rating: :-D :-D :-D
The story starts out with our hero, Tristan, and his mistress, Zirra. They have just had a rather long session of sex and they are in the lounging about phase. Tristan is a warrior and he has just gotten a call that his kingdom needs him to go fight. This upsets Zirra because she is one insatiable little minx and wants to have a go at round twenty or thirty or whatever. Tristan laughs at her and tells her that he loves his kingdom more than her and that they had just been using each other. You see, he is a mortal and will die, whereas she is Druinn, immortal, with magical powers. Zirra, not taking rejection well, casts a spell on him. He will remain a pleasure slave, trapped in a jewelled box, forced to obey his master for all time or for as long as that master owns the box. He can only be released from the bonds of slavery by his one true love. It is soon discovered what Zirra has done and she is punished for her crime against the mortal (can’t destroy the peace treaty. Yay politics!) The box is thrown into the universe and she is stripped of her powers.
Welcome to present day and we meet Julia, someone's one true love. An antique dealer, she finds an old jewelled box at a flea market and decides to take it home. Much to her surprise, she discovers that she also gets a love slave out of the deal. You know, I've been to a dozen flea markets and never have I come home with anything like that. Not much happens in the way of plot, a lot of talking, shopping montage, porn, porn, porn, and then the end.
Now you must be asking yourself, why? How is all of that all that great? Well, it is all about Tristan. Not only is he a hunk of burning love, expert in the ways of carnal delights, elite warrior, gorgeous specimen of all things male, barely wearing a stitch of clothes but the absolute ultimate note on his resume: he is an alien. Alien! From another planet alien! I mean, OMG! WTF! (Fill in your own freaked out netspeak here)! It is that little detail that makes it perfect.
Also, when you pick up a book with the title The Pleasure Slave it has some expectations it has to live up to. And oh boy, this book lives up to those expectations; it was a couple steps away from porn. But not super graphic so I wouldn’t feel that weird giving it to my aunt to read. The main character Julia wasn’t bad as characters go and she develops as expected. My favourite character had to be Gary, the gay personal shopper, who practically turned into a puddle at Tristan’s feet. Now that was fun.
Anyway, it wasn’t exactly the best genie in a bottle scenario I’ve ever read but it was a lot of fun. Perfect for an afternoon of pure fluff.
My rating: :-D :-D :-D
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
A Choir of Ill Children by Tom Piccirilli
Guest review by Red Bonney
It's a dark, wet, rancid book. It's about the dangers of certain people reproducing when they clearly should have been yanked out of the gene pool by the life guard. It's a good book. Reading it was like being sucked down into a gator infested swamp: you get that sinking feeling, but you know you'll be eaten before you drown, and all around you is the earthy smell of the bog. There was a story line, I'm sure of it. I think it was hidden between the random bouts of underage, extra-marital sex, that may or may not have been the hallucinatory dreams of our reluctant hero, Thomas. There was lots of writing on walls and on skin and some of it made sense. Most of it did not.
Thomas has three brothers in one. Sebastian, Jonah and Cole are conjoined triplets, joined at the cranium. They also have a sister, but she was nearly completely absorbed by Thomas when they were still in the womb. This goes back to the theory that some people shouldn't reproduce, namely, the entire list of characters in the book. It was difficult to find a normal character, and I would have to say it was Thomas, though he turned out to be a sex fiend with a penchant for younger partners. The Reverend Bibbler would be next, but his name alone strikes him off the
normal list.
So, Thomas was the reluctant hero, as I said, and very reluctant. He was the town's magnate, so to speak, the wealthiest man in town, who owns the mill that makes the town live. He lives in the most haunted house with his brothers and their care giver, Dodi, who is also their lover and was installed by the local conjure woman, Velma Coots, to keep an eye on them. Velma, I believe, should have gotten more page time. That's another moral hidden in these pages, always listen to the local conjure woman, she knows what she's talking about.
In a nutshell, this book was a lot like real life in that there were a lot of unexplained and unexplainable events, a lot of questions and not enough answers. Conversely, it was nothing at all like real life, with the ghosts and all-consuming evil threatening on the horizon. I can't tell you what the book was really about, it's a mystery and a horror and a romance (a sick, twisted, fucked up romance, but a romance nonetheless) and nothing was explicit.
I hope you are as confused as I am about this book now. You should read it and tell me what it was about.
It's a dark, wet, rancid book. It's about the dangers of certain people reproducing when they clearly should have been yanked out of the gene pool by the life guard. It's a good book. Reading it was like being sucked down into a gator infested swamp: you get that sinking feeling, but you know you'll be eaten before you drown, and all around you is the earthy smell of the bog. There was a story line, I'm sure of it. I think it was hidden between the random bouts of underage, extra-marital sex, that may or may not have been the hallucinatory dreams of our reluctant hero, Thomas. There was lots of writing on walls and on skin and some of it made sense. Most of it did not.
Thomas has three brothers in one. Sebastian, Jonah and Cole are conjoined triplets, joined at the cranium. They also have a sister, but she was nearly completely absorbed by Thomas when they were still in the womb. This goes back to the theory that some people shouldn't reproduce, namely, the entire list of characters in the book. It was difficult to find a normal character, and I would have to say it was Thomas, though he turned out to be a sex fiend with a penchant for younger partners. The Reverend Bibbler would be next, but his name alone strikes him off the
normal list.
So, Thomas was the reluctant hero, as I said, and very reluctant. He was the town's magnate, so to speak, the wealthiest man in town, who owns the mill that makes the town live. He lives in the most haunted house with his brothers and their care giver, Dodi, who is also their lover and was installed by the local conjure woman, Velma Coots, to keep an eye on them. Velma, I believe, should have gotten more page time. That's another moral hidden in these pages, always listen to the local conjure woman, she knows what she's talking about.
In a nutshell, this book was a lot like real life in that there were a lot of unexplained and unexplainable events, a lot of questions and not enough answers. Conversely, it was nothing at all like real life, with the ghosts and all-consuming evil threatening on the horizon. I can't tell you what the book was really about, it's a mystery and a horror and a romance (a sick, twisted, fucked up romance, but a romance nonetheless) and nothing was explicit.
I hope you are as confused as I am about this book now. You should read it and tell me what it was about.
Friday, July 14, 2006
The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
It has been awhile since I’ve written one of these up for general consumption. Not that I haven’t been reading, just some of my reading materials are a little subjective. But no time like the present to get back onto that horse, so to speak. Hopefully this won’t suck too badly. And let’s forget about the movie, shall we? I haven’t seen it yet and I figure I might go next week. Not that I have high expectations but figure this might go easier if we just focus on the book.
Did you ever have one of those never pleased type of bosses? The type who wasn’t happy unless they were causing some type of misery onto someone else? Who was so miserable and vile that they would engineer ways to belittle and humiliate just to make their self feel better? Personally, I haven’t. I had really annoying bosses who wanted to be your friend but you knew you couldn’t trust them as far as you could throw them. Or the type that would freak out about little things but would have no clue about the things that really matter. So I figure I’ve been pretty lucky after this book.
Lauren, straight out of college, is looking for a job. She is a writer and wants to work for a magazine, any magazine that will help her on her way to The New Yorker. Not that she is super ambitious, she just wants to be able to move out of her parent’s house and start her own life. In walks the job opportunity of a lifetime, work for one year as the personal assistant to the editor for the fashion magazine and you can walk your way into any magazine you want to go. The problem, your boss is a real bitch. In every way, shape, and form.
The most interesting part of the book was reading about how evil this woman could be. She would request things but not give enough information to allow you to be able to know what she wanted and when you couldn’t give her what she wanted, she would call you stupid for not being able to read her mind. You were on call 24 hours a day and if anything was needed, you were called, no matter what it was. There was hell to pay if things were not perfect. You may be allowed to see the glamorous side of life but that is from the perspective of following behind after it to clean up. And it makes you wonder how far you can be pushed, what you would be willing to give up for a year, if the price was right.
All that being said, it was an entertaining read for something light and fluffy. Fun reading about how evil someone can be and lucky enough to do so from such a safe distance.
Bah, it was an okay book. Not a great American classic to make it through the ages but fun.
Did you ever have one of those never pleased type of bosses? The type who wasn’t happy unless they were causing some type of misery onto someone else? Who was so miserable and vile that they would engineer ways to belittle and humiliate just to make their self feel better? Personally, I haven’t. I had really annoying bosses who wanted to be your friend but you knew you couldn’t trust them as far as you could throw them. Or the type that would freak out about little things but would have no clue about the things that really matter. So I figure I’ve been pretty lucky after this book.
Lauren, straight out of college, is looking for a job. She is a writer and wants to work for a magazine, any magazine that will help her on her way to The New Yorker. Not that she is super ambitious, she just wants to be able to move out of her parent’s house and start her own life. In walks the job opportunity of a lifetime, work for one year as the personal assistant to the editor for the fashion magazine and you can walk your way into any magazine you want to go. The problem, your boss is a real bitch. In every way, shape, and form.
The most interesting part of the book was reading about how evil this woman could be. She would request things but not give enough information to allow you to be able to know what she wanted and when you couldn’t give her what she wanted, she would call you stupid for not being able to read her mind. You were on call 24 hours a day and if anything was needed, you were called, no matter what it was. There was hell to pay if things were not perfect. You may be allowed to see the glamorous side of life but that is from the perspective of following behind after it to clean up. And it makes you wonder how far you can be pushed, what you would be willing to give up for a year, if the price was right.
All that being said, it was an entertaining read for something light and fluffy. Fun reading about how evil someone can be and lucky enough to do so from such a safe distance.
Bah, it was an okay book. Not a great American classic to make it through the ages but fun.
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